High School Football Anthropology
As the legendary voice of the Vol Network, John Ward used to say, “It’s football time in Tennessee again!” High Schools across the Volunteer State started their season last week. With all the recent talk on Capitol Hill regarding public school policy, we here at the Pamphleteer would like to provide a brief anthropological survey using the sport that every Patriotic red-blooded Tennessean loves: high school football.
You can learn a lot about a school just by looking at what type of offense the football team runs. From student body social demographics, staff competency and morale, and even community support are all on display every Friday night. With that in mind, below are the five most common offenses and what they say about a school.
Power I Formation
blue-collarThese are your mid-IQ kids from blue collar backgrounds who enjoy the simple things in life, and there’s nothing simpler than saying, “We’re lining up strong right and running straight at you.” Kids at this school are your future trade workers, truck drivers, and servicemen. The school has a patriotic theme with an ROTC program, and the town likely still has some midsize employers still around.
This was my alma mater, Page, in the early 2000s, but this style can still be found in your small, off-the-interstate-one-county schools like Dyersburg High where my cousin recently graduated from.
Wing T
Every player hates this coach no kid wants to run old-timey 1940s-style handoffs. The student resentment also carries through to daily school activities. A school that runs the Wing T is saying that they do not have the desire to do anything innovative or listen to the concerns of students or parents. It’s my way or the highway and often it’s the highway that parents use to send their children to a different school if they can manage it.
The school out near me, Forrest School, ran this for a while, but have now seen the light and changed. But still, there are schools like Huntland that haven’t joined the 21st century yet.
Shotgun Spread
These schools are big on letting their students express themselves and shine as individuals regardless of the outcomes. Passing the ball with four or five wide receiver sets is more fun to play and watch no matter if the team is good or bad. Just about every Metro Nashville school is like this from the bad , like Hunters Lane, Overton and McGavock. But down I-24 in Murfreesboro, schools like Oakland and Blackman contend for titles every year running this offense. Confidence will take you a long way in life, regardless of whether your school is nice or not.
Pro Set
High IQ student population in a wealthy area. Players who are smart enough to memorize all the intricacies of the West Coast Offense are going to have high ACT/SAT scores, get into the best colleges, and go on to be highly accomplished professionals like their parents. These schools are known to have high standards and expectations of their students.
Maryville is the one public school that ran this for a long time during their legendary title runs. MBA has run this style for many years as well as Father Ryan. Currently, my favorite pro set school is Loretto. As evidenced by their recent Excellent College and Career Readiness Scores on the State Report Card, it’s clear that some future Tennessee Governors or business leaders are down there living out the best years of their lives.
Pistol Formation
This school is run by principals who are obsessed with doing things in an unorthodox fashion. The Coach (capital-c) fancies himself a 200 IQ Chip Kelly.
It’s 3rd & 1. Do we put in our bigs and pick up the first down? No. That’s what they expect us to do. Runs bubble screen pass.
Like any Steve Jobs personality type, when their plans work, it’s all good. But when it doesn’t, be prepared to suffer endless excuses and belittlement from your misunderstood Einstein.
Speaking of my alma mater, they have used the Pistol for almost the entirety of the current head coach's tenure. And as evidenced by the three consecutive losing appearances in the Blue Cross Bowl, his penchant for unorthodox (stupid) decision-making during games makes Chip Kelly’s infamous Nick Foles trade look okay by comparison.
That about wraps it up, y’all. Makre sure to get out and catch those Friday night lights. Lord knows I’ll be out there hanging on the fence with all the rest of us who could’ve gone D1.
Catch y’all next time,
Porter