The Late-Night Show Host America Deserves

I encounter a good many people who like to go on tirades about how “cancel culture” is ruining comedy, but disappointingly few of them are funneling money into artists like Pat Dixon. A Tennessee native whose impressive creative career spans twenty-nine years, Dixon’s comedy is a relentless force.

Over the years, he's garnered his own Comedy Central special, appearances on VH1, and regular shows with Compound Media and Censored TV. All the while, he’s taken the time to create original shows—from the burlesque Nearly Naked Lady Hour to a casual, piano-laden livestream on Rumble five nights a week.

He’s a true master of his craft, with a thick moral fiber and a plethora of stories to tell: the antithesis of today’s plastic mockery of the timeless late night talk show host. We spoke for a couple of hours recently, and he told some of those stories—dotted, of course, with remarks that drew guttural laughter.

SWITCHING HIS MAJOR

Dixon grew up near Chattanooga, and attended Middle Tennessee State University in the 90s. It didn’t take long before he decided university life wasn’t for him, and in 1995, he dropped out to pursue comedy. “The joke is, I switched my major from journalism to alcoholism,” he remarks dryly. A year later, he moved to Atlanta. By 2000, he was sober, and a year later he was working in comedy full time. This meant constant touring, which, for years, was plenty—Dixon has performed in almost all 50 of the United States.

Even as he flew from city to city, Dixon always had somewhat of a “home base” in Nashville. It was in the Spring of 2003, after performing at Zanies in Nashville, that he met a woman who would give him material for years to come. She was a box-office worker at the comedy club, and as Dixon puts it, “lots of fun right off, which [he] needed.” The two started a relationship that involved a lot of exciting evenings at cheap motels. Soon enough, however, it became clear to him that the fiery redhead who said “if you weren’t married I’d take you home and f— your c— off” was actually pretty mentally unstable. Dixon dropped her off in Nashville, hoping she’d stay with her parents and he’d never see her again. He was not so lucky.

In early 2004, after a show in Chattanooga, she followed Dixon to IHOP, where she planned on shooting him, then herself. He quickly took the gun from her hands, suffering some scratches around his eyes as he ran into the IHOP and slid the weapon across the floor, away from both of them. When the cops came, Dixon recounts, they asked a very interesting question: “What did you do to her?” The woman was charged with attempted 2nd degree murder, and placed on house arrest for eight years. 

NEW YORK CITY CRIME REPORT

In 2006, Dixon got his ‘big break’: a half hour special on Comedy Central. With the money from that, he moved to New York City, and so began his involvement in the New York comedy scene. By 2011, he was hosting a burlesque-and-comedy show called the Nearly Naked Lady Hour. The show ran for two years, and had some big name comics drop in—Mark Normand and Joe List to name a couple. After that, Dixon hosted a more straight-forward comedy program called Desperation Tonight, which featured a live band and saw performances from names like Bill Burr and Jim Gaffigan. 

During his first few years in New York City, Dixon was struck by the way crime seemed to be woven into the fabric of the city. It was this that led him to start his longest running show, New York City Crime Report, in 2011. Originally, he recorded the show at The Creek & The Cave with Last Podcast on the Left’s Marcus Parks, who at the time was running Cave Comedy Radio. Dixon says at that time, “It was just this high life.” He enjoyed two weekly poker games, lots of free food, appeared on VH1s Best Week Ever reboot, and reported on New York crime in an irreverent, amusing way with good company. The show did well. “People are interested in New York in general,” says Dixon. 

His commentary on the uptick in New York City crime over his time there is a cautionary tale for cities across the United States—including Nashville. “In 2006, to see a trash can turned over was rare,” he explains. “By 2020, it was rare to see a trash can not turned over. Lawlessness increased because the laws weren’t enforced. That only goes in one direction, once it starts.” You could call it Broken Window Theory, or more pointedly say that poor quality of life inspires crime, creating a vicious cycle. In 2006, things like drinking in public and urinating in the street were arrestable offenses. Soon enough, however, people just got tickets.

“When you don’t arrest people for urinating in the streets, they start shitting in the streets,” says Dixon, hardly joking. “It’s just a natural progression.” He pointed out that he lived in New York City for a decade before he saw anyone pleasuring themself in public—and it was in Times Square. “The whole city started smelling like weed,” he muses. “It doesn’t sound bad, but you get this sense that no one’s paying attention.” His wisdom for how to stop such a rapid descent? “It’s all in policy and laws.” Take note of your local representatives.

Parks and Dixon eventually parted ways, and he’s run the show on his own since. It was around the 2016 election that New York City Crime Report was picked up by Compound Media—the network run by Anthony Cumia, of Opie & Anthony fame. Dixon enjoyed a few years with the network until he had a spat with the wrong kind of New York entertainer. “I punched a guy and got fired,” he says simply. It was the first time Dixon had decked somebody in his life, and it was a fellow entertainer at the network where he worked. He says he wouldn’t have been fired for it either, but the blow carried enough force to break the other man’s jaw. “It was the broken jaw business that did it for Cumia,” he admits.

RETURN TO TENNESSEE

Dixon’s enjoyment of New York City had simply run dry. He’d lost his steady job, and comedy clubs he’d performed at for years were shut down because of Covid. The ones that weren’t “wanted people wearing masks, and [he] wasn’t going to do that.” That, and the rampant crime that was his bread and butter was also taxing to be around. Dixon knew he wanted to return to Tennessee, and with him came the woman he had punched a man over. Nashville just didn’t feel right for him anymore, so the two settled in Chattanooga. A large part of that had to do with the contrasting levels of crime in the two cities—Dixon had the impression Nashville was just trying to catch up to New York. “Crime’s just not part of the Chattanooga experience,” he explains. “I can walk around anytime of day, anytime of night, and it feels like I own the place.”

Though the woman’s gone now, Dixon’s built a comfortable life in the city he’s so familiar with. He can live better for less money, he has family in the area, and he’s well entrenched with the local comedy club, The Comedy Catch. He’s been performing there since the 90s, and still will make an appearance from time to time. From his apartment downtown, he can see the Chattanooga Choo Choo—another part of the city that made a long journey from New York. Dixon also mentioned his gold membership at the Chattanooga Pinball Museum, adding, “One of my favorite things about this city is the pinball museum.

Dixon still performs the occasional show outside of Chattanooga. In fact, we first met before his performance in Nashville last November. If you aren’t lucky enough to see Dixon’s stand-up, however, there’s plenty of good news. For one, New York City Crime Report is alive and well, having simply shifted from Compound Media to Censored TV, the network run by Gavin McInnes. McInnes himself was actually originally inspired to start his podcast by Dixon’s work. If crime reports aren’t your speed, fear not: Dixon also runs a late-night livestream at 11pm EST, Monday through Friday on Rumble. It’s a great way to catch the man comfortable and in his element, sharing stories and playing his keyboard. Until we can get him hosting The Tonight Show, it’s something to enjoy.

Watch the New York City Crime Report on Censored TV.

Catch Pat Dixon’s livestream here on Rumble.

Follow his Twitter for good measure.